So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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