Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
