I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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