Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
