We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
