Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Randomize
