well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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