i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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