Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
