I'm so fucking centered right now
Barsexuality is the new black.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
