If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
