so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
There was a lot of him and a little penis
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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