I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
