She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Randomize
