Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
