You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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