We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
