I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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