After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
