Will you blow on my dice?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
