He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
