I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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