I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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