I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize