I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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