I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
