He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
