Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
