So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize