Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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