You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
