Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Dear god my vagina.
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