At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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