If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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