Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
