Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
