oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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