my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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