i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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