Girls should come with a carfax report
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
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