If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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