i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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