I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
