You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
