I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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