is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
