Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I am one with the molecules
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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