You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
