Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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