I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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