once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
