I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
