yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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