I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
