Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i think my cat just said my name.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
