so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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