I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
