We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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