You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
