If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
