If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
