I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
