i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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