You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
