Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
