ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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